Sunday, June 29, 2014

De-Humanizing through Dissing

The other day at my job, there was a group of boys who were being quite obnoxious. They were yelling obscenities at the top of their lungs in order to get people to notice them. (Remind you of my French Toast page?) I kind of lost it by saying something relatively unkind. (Basically I stated that their male talents may be small. If you catch my drift.) Now, I say "kind of" because I knew what I was doing. I knew that what I was going to say was going to be hurtful. I said it anyway though as I thought it would end their game. It did work but I felt guilty about it.
Now, I've gotten only one response to this which is, "They deserved it and they stopped so don't feel bad." The problem I have with this is... because of what I said, did those boys realize what they were doing was immature. Or were they under the thought that no one liked them and were being shunned?

Whenever someone disses or slanders or makes fun it makes the other person may feel like they are less. Less than human and less from normal. There are two thoughts on this.
1. The reason people are making others feel bad, is because there is something messed up with them. In a way, people feel that karma should be justified.   The example I gave is perfect for this! I only spoke in a mean way because I was angry at them. Those bullies in school only were mean because others were mean to them. Essentially, If I feel bad, you feel bad.
2.  Another reason would be to feel superior. Don't think you've ever done it? Have you ever gossiped about someone? Behind their backs said that they were failures, losers, or a bad person? It's because everyone wants to feel "on top" by bringing others down.  It's a fake way to boost our confidence. We should all know that doesn't work though, and it's kind of pathetic to think it would.

Keep in mind that their words DO NOT MATTER. Only when they are believed do they carry power. If a person is told enough any of the words in the picture below, they can start to think that those words do apply to them or you or me. THEY DO NOT! Those cruel words make people feel like they aren't people. That they aren't human. That is wrong.

Jim Carey carried a note around with him at all times. The note had a number on it, $1 million. He grew up poor after his hardworking father lost his job doing something he hated. Jim Carey vowed to only do a job if he loved it and he wanted to be rich. A few years later he was offered an acting job that made him $1 million, the goal he put on the note. Here is the >role. You are probably familiar with it.

Confidence and lack of confidence can be made the same way. With the right words and a positive belief, a person doesn't have to worry about the haters.

Here are some ways to be confident if you need it to beat the haters!
Image courtesy of zerxzastyle.blogspot.com/

So here is what I think about dissing. Putting others down to feel better about yourself or for the purpose of making them feel inhuman, that is bad. Reacting to others to make them aware of their actions is different. Make them AWARE not angry. What I did, could have been handled better. I could have merely stated that the way they were acting was immature and annoying to the rest of the workers. I could have said that their attempts of showing off were working as we all noticed, but were failing to make us like them. There were probably a bunch of ways to end that discussion without making fun of them. 

Like those boys, I have work to do on myself. Less with self-esteem and more on how to react to others. This is how I should do things. Or this. The second link labeled "this" states in tip 8 to "feel sorry for them." Don't think of this as, "Ugh those poor losers." Think more of, "Are they acting this way because they have been bullied or want to feel superior?" 
Reaction is the key to this whole dissing de-humanizing thing. You are in charge of how you feel. YOU HAVE THE POWER! Anyone has the power to diss or to praise. To feel bad or to feel good. It may be difficult, but it can be done.
Be Fabulous like this llama. Courtesy of Buzzfeed.


End On a Happy Note:
This has made me smile very much. Here is Benedict Cumberbatch and all his glorious purpose. 

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Give All Your Grapes


I finished another book on my summer reading list and this classic by John Steinbeck is none other than The Grapes of Wrath. When I finished this book I was a little confused on the ending. It was only when I understood the major theme that I understood. The theme being that decency and morality are the most important ideals a person has to hold onto, in order to still be human. 
(Which makes me think of Valerie's Letter in V for Vendetta 
Courtesy of Bing
The Joad family has lost everything at the end, and I mean everything. Despite that though, the Joad family is still willing to help others over themselves. Whenever the chance to give comes up Ma Joad gives money, food, or care to others even though this woman is "tar'd" beyond belief. When, or if, you read this story you will see that the some family members leave. Ask yourself what their reasons are. Some leave because they don't want to help the family anymore, they only want to support themselves. 
In my own family, we have a rare disease called Huntington's Disease that has affected relatives including my mother. When she became symptomatic, she had some family and friends stay but many left. The reason? It is surprisingly the same reason the Joad family fell apart in the story. They were concerned more about how they themselves would feel, their fears, and they didn't want to admit that someone they loved was going to die. I saw first hand that during her life her friends by the dozens boiled down to one or two when she became quite ill. 
What does this have to do with bringing positivity? First, anyone can help others. Some people even take a vow of poverty and take a lifetime of service for others such as Buddhists and Nuns or are just willing to help like this group of Atheists and of course the Red Cross. Amazon.com is also doing a program right now called smile.amazon.com where you shop and Amazon will donate its profit to the charity of your choice. 
The second thing you can do, is act the way you say you will. Any person can say they will be your friend for life or that they will donate or volunteer or whatever but ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS (caps lock for effect). The Joad family all donated and volunteered to help others and my mom's true friends and family visited her in the hospital and donated to cure HD. Think of your friends, family, and even strangers that you can help. Don't just think it, do it! Take charge and be a leader. 

WHO TO DONATE TO

  1. http://passage.org.uk/ Others beg for money for those who cannot beg
  2. http://www.kiva.org/ Give a $25 loan that creates a business for a person in the 3rd World
  3. http://www.empowerpeople.org.in/ Help those who have been in human trafficking schemes
  4. http://www.sistersunited.com/ Buy a cool purse and change a person's life!
  5. And of course Red Cross and smile.amazon.com are both included above

HOW TO BRING POSITIVE EMOTIONS

  1. http://www.lifelovelauren.com/2013/06/the-paper-gift.html?showComment=1372061004486#c3762286930814949961
  2. http://www.upworthy.com/he-got-a-good-idea-from-the-internet-put-it-on-a-cardboard-sign-and-made-it-real?c=ufb1
  3. http://www.notimeforflashcards.com/2013/08/peace-sign-activity-for-kids.html
I hope that I've helped you today and inspired you! So now to 
End On a Happy Note:
and also this gif that makes me smile so much and hopefully you too! http://johnlock-must-happen.tumblr.com/post/86083636959

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Let's Take that Ego Down a Notch with French Toast

In the past two weeks I've had my family tell me that I have acted "stuck up" and that they thought I was acting like I was "better than they were." Needless to say, I was getting quite upset with them. Today we were eating french toast. I asked my sister to pass the butter and that I would be "most appreciative if she did." I got a speech from my dad telling me that using those big words turn people off as it seems like I'm trying to put on a smart front. The anger rushed through me and the tears flowed from my eyes. How dare he say that! Am I not safe in my own home? This was over butter! 
Notice how I got angry over this so fast? Why was that?
Image courtesy of Bing
My dad told me he didn't mean for my ego to be hurt. I don't have an ego. How dare you! Well, I do have an ego. Let me say that again, I do have an ego. My esteem was hurt by the statement that I was trying to act smart instead of actually being smart. That is the one thing that I have struggled with in my life. A description of my that is common is that I'm comedic and humorous. For some reason I took that as, "You are funny but comedy doesn't equal intelligence." To make up for that I would not only get good grades in school, but I would show my dad my report cards, Dean's List letters, and ask him what he thought. I was waiting for that pat on the head or a gold sticker and it never came. After school got out this semester they sent out the Dean's List letters again and I showed my dad. I was trying to get him to notice and it didn't come. That's when the uppity attitude appeared. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT WAS HAPPENING! Looking back though, whenever we watched a movie, after I read a book, thought of a random fact I was so eager to share that fact with anyone. I would do it at random times. I wanted a big light up poster saying HEY LOOK I'M SMART! TAKE NOTICE! 
To be humble is to be humiliated. After my french toast humiliation, I finally saw what I was doing. The realization had taken place that my ego was in charge. I wasn't acting smart because I was smart, the only action taking place was acting. Acting so others would take notice and I would be liked. 
First of all, I should not need others opinions to tell me who I am. If that occurs, a person will be miserable and that's what was happening to me. Rely off of your own greatness but always, always, ALWAYS realize that there is some room for improvement. 
Be positive in your own abilities and strengths. You. Are. Unique. You are special. Don't rely off of what other people tell you though. For every compliment you earn there is criticism. Take consideration of both. Is there room for improvement? The answer will always be yes if you are humble. Did I do my best for the time being? That answer is should also always be yes, so be proud. 
Live the life that you want. Don't listen to others as they can put you up and take you down just as fast. You should go out and make others feel better or improve their lives though. Do it because you care about the human race and not because you want to "feel good about yourself." If you touch someone's life in a kind way because you want to help, because you want others to be improved, because you want to change the world for the better that is great. Don't go out and volunteer and think that good karma will be bound to you. That is no way to live. You will be living your whole life thinking that karma or the universe or other people owe you something when they don't. No one person should own another. Share love for the sake of sharing love. If great things follow, then they follow. As a smart person told me today, "I love you but I also like you and those are different. You can love others but not want to be friends with them. Love because that is the greatest act you can do." Robert Turek.

End On A Happy Note:
This man talks about how he was a doctor for Mother Theresa and how another doctor's ego. Thought it was appropriate for today's post.
Also here is a Lip Sync battle with Emma Stone and Jimmy Fallon.